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Whatever happened to the infamous alternative queer bars that used to be packed to the rafters every night of the week, like Melbourne’s infamous Q&A (Queer and Alternative) where we used to dance all night to bands like Blur, the Smiths and the Dead Kennedy’s? Places where we used to make the effort to dress up (or dress down, depending on your taste), get drunk on cheap beers, and form enduring friendships and relationships. I know in Sydney, also, much of the gay culture has moved further underground, as even iconic gay bars like the Imperial Hotel in Newtown (where The Adventure of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert was filmed) have in recent years become mixed clientele rather than gay venues. Where I live in Melbourne’s south side, an entire gay district in Commercial Road Prahran has all but disappeared to make way for trendy cafes and delis. So much so that I’ve started to wonder if people go out to bars anymore. Nowadays it seems like everyone is using dating apps – whether gay or straight or somewhere in between. Before that, I was a frequent user of dating apps, which were really only useful for one thing, and it wasn’t a relationship. To be honest, he was one of the first guys I met who seemed to genuinely believe in love and romance. We never looked back.Īs one of our dearest friends pointed out to me recently, this makes us pretty unusual among our peers: both that our relationship has endured and that we met in person rather than hooking up online. After just a few minutes we decided to leave the place and go for a walk in the balmy January night. We met in the middle of a hot Melbourne summer in a gay nightclub when we randomly started chatting beside the water jug at the edge of the dancefloor.
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I met my partner six years ago and we’ve been living together ever since. I know he has Grindr on his phone – but beyond that I don’t want to know. Yes, I’m in a relationship but we don’t try to control each other’s online activities.
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I know I only have myself to blame since I chose to download the app, and my boyfriend gave me a hard time about it later.